Our Story

Ben Jacobsen and Cassandra Madrid met on the banks of the Euphrates River in ancient Mesopotamia. Jacobsen was known for his skill in battle, hunting prowess and the fact that he did not beat his squaws very often. One day after returning from quelling a slave rebellion he caught the attention of a local kelp diving maiden. It was love at first sight - and as the centuries passed they became only more passionate for one another. 

Recently, our brave warrior fooled this lovely maiden into marrying him. Together they plan to be the first to colonize Mars. There they will be the first openly conservative couple to open an all organic bakery. 

Her love for him is such that she permitted him to write, unedited, the story for their wedding.